I had breathing complications, and for a moment there, I thought I was gone.So very the drama kan?
Sebenarnya, I was on the way to an assignment semalam. Nak ke press conference IKON. Tapi dalam perjalanan, dah nak sampai pun, tetiba, tengah driving nih, found it hard to breathe.
Tarik punya tarik nafas, cam orang lari marathon pon, nothing went in, sampai tercungap cam goldfish kot.It's not as bad as it sounds, and yet it's not a good feeling. Kind of like post sex choking minus the orgasm.
Mula mula biasa lah kan...tak risau sangat. Sebab penah semput camni. But tuh lack of stamina and all ler, tak penah camni dalam rested and inactive condition... so got kind of freaked out. Ngan rasa jantung degap degup beating kuat sampai cam nak break through my chest, turned the car around back to Bangsar tuk ke klinik kat opis.
Masih semput masa sampai.
Masuk je, doktor tanya seribu satu soalan, tercungap nak jawab. Nope...no dizziness, takde batuk. No chest pain, but dull pressure adalah. Specifically, I'm having problems breathing blah blah blah.
Took my first ever ECG where they lube you up and stick these little sucker thingies on you, clamp your hands and feet and hook everything up to a machine which generates this printout indicating something or other. Kinda of kinky actually. Almost very the bondage gituh!
Masa nak wat tuh, kenalah cabut segala besi kat muka, that took some five minutes da. Keji...nurse tuh kata kena, aku wat ler. But apparently it's not necessary. Ni mesti kes nak dera aku saja jer kan!!! Konon mesin tuh pakai some electric charges and all so kena...
So was done in less than 15. Doctor mai cakap, my readings are abnormal. Or more accurately, she said my breathing pattern was showing signs of abnormality. Keji....terasa cam sme freak bila camtuh, and not like a medical condition.
So they wrote me up a letter which had to be passed to my HR department, as well as one for the cardiolgist kat Pantai Medical Centre, citing the need for medical attention...and this was the freakish part...IMMEDIATELY.
Kata doktor, sebab there was definitely a need to run more tests on me (lab rat sangat), sebab condition aku ni could be potentially serious. Dia kata kena check skang gak sebab takut apa apa jadik and it's too late. Siot je...I think I had a minor heart attack when she said that! Kalao condition aku takde per per, terus ada sebab statement dia.
So quietly took the letter, lambai and walked away quickly from ramai ramai manusia around the office which seemed to want to engage me in conversation when I most didn't feel like it, and popped straight to HR.
The screwed part? Sampai je, tengok tengok, surat untuk HR dah tercicir. KEJI! Had only the one for the cardiologist with my ECG readings. Stupid...stupid...stupid! So kena turun balik five floors to the clinic to get another copy. Seb baik nurse sana semua bebaik dan efficient.
Went back up, start semput balik dah. The actual process of nak seek medical attention, yang apparently will kill me.
And if that doesn't do it, then my HR department will.
Sampai kat counter (they feel a need for that, takleh walk in jumpa meka skang - kind of like a government department, with the same level of efficiency), takde yang nak layan. Empat lima orang dok at the desks turned and looked at me. So I asked for assistance. Meka leh tanya nak apa. Aku pun jawab, need letter ler for Pantai. Takde sorang pon jawab.
Dahler aku semput, takkan aku nak jerit my problem bagik satu opis dengar kan. Mustered enough strength dan said loudly, kalao yerpun, boleh tak sesapa mai counter so aku takyah naikkan sora?
Baru kelam kabut. Bitchiness works sometimes.
Tetiba baru ada yang layan.Two of them jumped up actually, and kakak sorang tuh took my case ler. Yang aku sakit ati tuh, tengah semput, nak sangat letter tuk referral ke Pantai, sorang abang tuh leh borak, "So amacam bro? Sapa menang AF tahun ni ah?"
"Tak kisah lah..." *dengan nada semput dan sparuh mati*
"Aku rasa Mila patut menang la kan..."
"Boleh je..."
"Yang laki takyah la kali ni..."
"...mmm..."
"Tapi kan..."
ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!
"Camni la...aku tak kisah sapa memang ke kalah ke apa...da sparuh mati nih! Kalao sapa pon menang aku tak kisah...janji bukan Aswad..tuh jer."
Ok...lost my cool there.
Senyap seketika.
Silence held for ten seconds like a badly written sitcom before... then came the punchline.
"So ko gi tak final tahun nih?"
ARGHHHH!!!!!
"Kalao aku tak mati ari ni tunggu surat nak jumpa specialist nih lah..."
The letter was ready in another 10 minutes.
"Ok nih, attached dia ada borang, jangan lupa, we need your diagnosis...blah blah blah."
Ok...
"Company akan tanggung up to this amount for consultation and treatment and kalao ko need to be warded. Tapi kalao exceed this amount we will deduct from your salary ek."
CHOIIII!!!!
Not the salary part la...but macam mintak je anything happen. Baik ko terus cakap company tak bayar tuk keranda or cremation. Aku ketuk kaunter, buang suwey.
"Tu kayu ke?"
"No. but your head is," aku nak kata...but kept my bitchiness inside. Camna lah stress level aku tak naik kena bebenda camni. Aduh.
Got the letter, rushed to Pantai. Remembered when I reached there aku tak makan seharian langsung. And my mom and dad had packed some food for me. *awwww* - cue sentimental music for that moving moment of realisation if this was a Hallmark movie. So sat in the car dan makan dulu. The last thing I want to do is not apprreciate rezeki tambah agik by something lovingly packed by my folks. Mana tau kalao apa jadik kan...Once done, gi emergency department. Pandai gak dak HR tuh sebab dia point out specialist clinics kat dalam Pantai mesti da tutup (after that waiting period for the letter, you don't say?!!!), so dia kata baik ke Emergency Department and get immediate attention.
"Takut kalao tunggu lama lama, keadaan ko serious...risau gak," she said. Erm... why does the song Ironic by Alanis Morrissette suddenly come to mind.
Sampai sana, meka bak aku masuk. First thing done was the ECG thing again. Pas that was done, I had the hose stuck into me. Meka supposed nak wat blood test, but because risau condition aku serious, they stuck that thingie into me sebab kalao kalao nak admit, terus meka leh hook me up to those funny things you see in medical dramas (or when I first saw them all live when I had to visit someone who likes to buat kejutan kena admitted).Bloody hell! You'd think for someone yang da ada eight piercings all over my face and two tattooes, mesti tak takut jarum kan. I shivered at the sight of the needle. Felt like screaming like a girl. And it bloody hurt ok when they stuck that needle in my wrist. Sedar sedar, it was jutting out of my vein (which the nurse couldn't find at first) with a plastic nozzle thing ngan penyelaras sticking out of my lengan.
They ran about half a dozen tests or so, so I had to wait for the results. Dalam time tuh, aman gak, tidur for about two and a half hours uninterrupted. Ok...it's a damn emergency ward. As uninterrupted as it gets lah at least.
Bangun je, da orang nih da call kata dia akan on the way. Sekali perasan ada mesej dari orang nih lak kata dia on the way ngan si Mei Ling.
Pegi toilet nak cuci muka, sebab tengah blur, Lalu one of the beds, aiyo...comel....
Stop yourself...not the time. Headed back for my bed.
"Yes sayang....appendicitis. Ah ah...takpelah...nanti ko download la Heroes untuk aku. Kalao tak pun tell me how episode 23 goes ek."
Peeked in ada mamat katil sebelah aku tengah golek golek layan handphone. Ah! I am in good company. Heroes freak gak katanya.
Vern and Ted popped in 15 minutes later. Told them about my condition and how the doctor mintak jaga diet and stop smoking....and lessen my stress and so on. Ajak meka hisap rokok to tell them more about it.
As usual membebel ler jawabnya.
Lucky they called me in to give the test results. I don't have to be admitted. All my tests turned out fine, and I'm quite healthy katanya. Tapi dalam tuh, sempat kena laser ngan doktor sebab diet dan smoking (next time tamau aa simpan Marlboro kat lower pocket jeans aku yang multipurpose tuh. I suspect she saw the box poking out).
Anyhoo, I was referred two cardiologists to call and make an appointment for further check up tuk pastikan, sebab meka masih tak yakin pas my first ECG reading.
Had dinner with Vern, Ted, abang Bad and Shonny, then bumped into Juan later for supper.
Went home, and had another attack. This time sebab stress layan Heroes. Siot jer kali ni. Argh!!! How do you review it and not give anything away. So korang layan jer ler sendiri.
Keyword for this episode, which was as good as episode 19, the comeback episode, is BOOM!
Damn...esok update agik.
PS - Aren't these just the coolest???!!! Breastfeeding promo posters. Kelakar...
The original fast food katanya!
